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Archive for the ‘Jessica Simpson’ Category

Jessica Simpson Taunts Us With How She Almost Quit Singing

Posted by mattymoe on September 3, 2008

This bitch is so chock full of evil. It’s sloshing out of her ears. And there’s no way her ass smells like roses.  Jessica Simpson spoke to E! about the time when she thought she was through with the music business. You’ll recall that day – there was dancing in the streets and Ri-Ri Harvey made that kickass chocolate trifle? Anyway, we have Dolly Parton‘s closeted lesbian/grande tittied ass to blame. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Dolly – but she has some splainin’ to do.

“You know, what happened at Kennedy Center, I really thought I was done singin’. I was just at a place where I’d lost a lot of confidence and I didn’t even know who I was. But Dolly totally took me under her wing and helped me up and over the cares of the world,” she says about the Dolly Parton tribute in which her dumb ass screwed up “9 to 5.” Christ, I could remember the lyrics to that song and I can’t even remember the boyfriend’s birthday! Tumble outta bed? Stumble to the kitchen, you bimbo!

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Jessica Simpson Is A State Fair Country Girl

Posted by mattymoe on August 8, 2008

Jessica Simpson helped kick off the Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis last night, taking the stage dressed the part to perform some of her new country tracks. A crowd of 4,000 watched county music’s hopeful new star show off her new music while her father Joe was apparently escorted around the event by seven state troopers. One thing everyone is sure to be listening to is the controversial song in which she talks about her history of abuse.  The recently revealed lyrics don’t give away the mystery man, but hopefully that’s all in the past with sweet Tony Romo. Jess’s fair tour is just getting started, but football season is right around the corner so hopefully she’ll save some of those lungs for cheering, too.

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