This bitch is so chock full of evil. It’s sloshing out of her ears. And there’s no way her ass smells like roses. Jessica Simpson spoke to E! about the time when she thought she was through with the music business. You’ll recall that day – there was dancing in the streets and Ri-Ri Harvey made that kickass chocolate trifle? Anyway, we have Dolly Parton‘s closeted lesbian/grande tittied ass to blame. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Dolly – but she has some splainin’ to do.
“You know, what happened at Kennedy Center, I really thought I was done singin’. I was just at a place where I’d lost a lot of confidence and I didn’t even know who I was. But Dolly totally took me under her wing and helped me up and over the cares of the world,” she says about the Dolly Parton tribute in which her dumb ass screwed up “9 to 5.” Christ, I could remember the lyrics to that song and I can’t even remember the boyfriend’s birthday! Tumble outta bed? Stumble to the kitchen, you bimbo!
