This Is Hilarious!! Thanks Brandy!!!

Ok kiddies, make sure to pay attention in Spanish class!!!!

How the Kanye Arrest Went Down

Erik, TMZ cameraman, is on his way back to our offices now, after being interviewed by LAX Police. Here’s what happened that led to Kanye West’s vandalism arrest at LAX.

Erik says he was at Terminal 4 (American Airlines) when he noticed a still photog taking several pictures of Kanye West. Erik says West rushed the photog and grabbed his camera. A struggle ensued and the still guy was screaming, “Police, help!” Erik says Kanye then took the still camera and threw it on the ground, breaking it into pieces. (Click here to see the video)

Erik then went over to Kanye, his camera rolling, when Kanye’s bodyguard walked up to him, realized Erik was taping, and said, “Give me the camera, give me the camera.” Erik responded that he had a press pass and had a right to shoot. The assistant then grabbed the camera, ripped off the mic and viewfinder and smashed it to the ground.

Erik says Kanye then tried to leave to board his plane, but cops stopped him before he got to security. The cops then interviewed Erik, the still photog, Kanye and his assistant..

This is where it gets crazy. The cops asked Erik if he videotaped the incident and Erik said he had. That’s when Kanye lunged toward him and said, “Give me the fu***ng videotape.” Cops had to restrain Kanye as he tried coming at Erik.

The videotape is on its way back to our offices. We will post shortly.

Elephant Beats Heroin Addiction With Rehab

BEIJING, China — Chinese state media say an Asian elephant that became addicted to heroin at the hands of illegal traders will return home after a three-year rehab program.

Xiguang, a 4-year-old male Asian elephant, became addicted after he was captured by smugglers along the Chinese-Myanmar border in March 2005. The official Xinhua News Agency says the traders fed the elephant bananas laced with heroin as bait and to pacify the creature.

When Xiguang was found two months later along with six other captured elephants in China’s southwest, he was suffering from withdrawal and was sent to a protection center in China’s tropical Hainan island.

Xinhua said Thursday that Xiguang received daily methadone injections in doses five times larger than those given to a human and had fully recovered.

Kristen Chenoweth Intervention

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/aa15baae2b

Jacko — In His Own P.J.’s for a Change

Michael Jackson… spotted at Planet Hollywood in Vegas yesterday, wearing pajama pants and a tuxedo jacket. Perfect for a formal event that puts you to sleep.  Or maybe, just maybe, he is creating buzz because of the fact that he will be appearing on this years MTV Awards

It’s MJ’s crazy world — we’re just living in it.

Governor Barkely???

Charles Barkley wants to come out of retirement. Sorta.

The former basketball star is hoping to follow in the footsteps of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Barkley was one of the dozens of celebrities this week at the Democratic National Convention. There, he spoke of his hopes of becoming more involved in politics and even running for governor.

The 45 year-old Alabama native said, “I’m planning to run for governor of Alabama. I have to live there for seven years. I bought my house there last year. I have homes in Arizona and Pennsylvania, but Alabama needs more help.”

And just what type of help can Barkley provide?

And with what experience???

MTV: To Hell With Brit, We Want Michael!

MTV is banking on a trainwreck — but it ain’t Britney.

Although Britney shot promos for the VMAs, I’m told the real gold is Michael Jackson. Sources close to the awards tell me that the MTV honchos have been working OT to get Jacko to reappear at the awards.

I’m told the deal is as good as sealed to have MJ present an award with sister Janet.

You Must…homoliciousness!

Abominable Snowman Found!!! THIS IS FOR REAL!!!

Photo Courtesy of TMZ

We have uncovered the first photographic evidence of the abominable snowman — aka, the mythical yeti beast.

The creature, thought to inhabit the Himalayan region of Nepal, was captured by Vegas showman Jeff Beacher in the 102 degree deserts of Sin City. Beacher refused to identify the exact location of the snow beast, in order to protect the remaining members of the herd … or pack … or gaggle … whatever you call a bunch of snow people.

DNA samples have been sent to a local lab for testing — results are expected to be posted on CNN.com, MSNBC and every other network that covered the Bigfoot nonsense.

China’s Little Ashlee Simpson

This is so messed up. Did you guys watch the opening ceremony for the Olympics in China? Well, the adorable little Chinese girl who sang “Ode to the Motherland” as part of the elaborate performance was actually the more “photogenic” choice of performer.

Basically, a director of the opening ceremony explained to the media that having a prettier girl lip synch to the voice of what was believed to be a less cute girl who could actually sing was “for the national interest.”

Wow. So, nine-year-old Lin Miaoke is getting credit for singing when it was really 7-year-old Yang Peiyi. I can’t understand how she wasn’t cute enough. Does she have horns, or something? Not that I have anything against people with horns, but yeah, that would be distracting. Or guns for hands–that’s both distracting and dangerous.

Verne Won’t Sticker For Pay!

Verne Troyer isn’t a sellout—-but he should be!

Despite the fact that Mini-Me zips around in a mini-scooter that is a rolling billboard, he’s not banking a dime from the companies. The only thing he gets — one of the clothing companies gives him free threads … a very small gesture indeed.

David Hassel Likes to Get H”off” on Himself

Screw the Olympics — the best way for the world to “come together,” according to David Hasselhoff … is David Hasselhoff.

Hoff’s sick ride only has three flaws — a trio of tacky stickers promoting his own website, which he so lovingly dubbed HoffSpace. He describes the site as a place where “people from across the world might come together and get a conversation started over me.” Self-involved beyond words, albeit lovingly.

Granny Busted!

“Grandma Arrested for Driving With 3-Year-Old on Roof for Fun“

WTF??? CLICK HERE to read the story about the crazy grannie (not the woman pictured above).

MARATHON, Fla — Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old child sitting on the roof of the car.

Monroe County Sheriff’s Office deputies were called to the Publix store Tuesday and arrested a 54-year-old woman after she was driving around with her three-year-old granddaughter on the roof of her car.

The grandmother was released from jail 15 hours later.

The woman said Thursday she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter. She says she was driving at “snail-speed” and holding the child’s leg.

Authorities say the woman told police she was giving the child some air and letting her have fun.

She faces charges of child abuse. The child is back with her mother.

Jessica Simpson Is A State Fair Country Girl

Jessica Simpson helped kick off the Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis last night, taking the stage dressed the part to perform some of her new country tracks. A crowd of 4,000 watched county music’s hopeful new star show off her new music while her father Joe was apparently escorted around the event by seven state troopers. One thing everyone is sure to be listening to is the controversial song in which she talks about her history of abuse.  The recently revealed lyrics don’t give away the mystery man, but hopefully that’s all in the past with sweet Tony Romo. Jess’s fair tour is just getting started, but football season is right around the corner so hopefully she’ll save some of those lungs for cheering, too.

He Don’t Wanna Miss A Thang

Lead singer for Aerosmith, Steven Tyler, must think he has a pretty interesting life.

The rocker is set to write his second memoir in just five years!

Apparently, the company Ecco, an imprint of HarperCollins, won an auction and will pay the 60 year-old singer $2 million to publish the book.

His last memoir in 2003 include his bandmates and was called Walk This Way: The Autobiography of Aerosmith.

The book was co-written by Stephen Davis who became known for digging up dirt on Led Zeppelin in Hammer of the Gods.

Reps have declined to comment.

We wonder if anyone even read the first book.

Are there still a lot of Aerosmith fans out there?

Maryland Mayor Involved In Drug Raid

It’s like a horrible dream came to life for the mayor of a small Maryland town and his family.

Last week, Cheye Calvo, mayor of Berwyn Heights, and his family found themselves unknowingly tangled in a marijuana smuggling ring — their home was stormed by plain clothed Prince George’s County police who proceeded to shoot the family’s beloved Labradors, Payton and Chase, dead.

No evidence of illegal activity was found at the mayor’s home by police.

The mayor said the warrant that police say justifies their actions did not bear his name, did not authorize no-knock entry and figures it might have been politically motivated. He said he did not see the warrant until three days after the raid.

This week, Prince George’s police arrested two men for orchestrating a plot to deliver marijuana to the addresses of unsuspecting recipients — among them, Calvo’s wife, Trinity Tomsic.

Police Chief Melvin C. High nor Sheriff Michael A. Jackson have apologized to the mayor, his wife or her mother, Georgia Porter, for the raid that traumatized the family and killed their black Labrador retrievers.

This is CRAZY!

The FBI is now investigating what looks to us like a total eff up by county officers.

So sad!!

Who can we trust these days?

The Claby Cometh!

Clay Aiken’s baby mama has popped! I am soooo totally surprised it wasn’t with the preg. man on Oprah!

Aiken’s mother told local Raleigh, N.C. TV station that the “American Idol” runner-up was now the proud papa of a bouncing baby boy named Parker Foster Aiken.

Aiken’s BFF, 50-year-old record producer Jaymes Foster, gave birth at 8:08 AM this morning in an “undisclosed location.”

Aiken’s mother Faye said the dark-haired Parker weighed in at 6 lbs. 2 oz and was 19″ long. She says her son is “smiling from ear-to-ear.”

Mom, dad and baby all are doing fine, according to Faye.

Aiken and Foster, who met when Clay appeared on “A.I.,” will raise their spawn together.

CONGRATULATIONS!

The Crabbiest Pageant Contestants Ever

Photo Courtesy of Britannica.com

Move over Miss America, stick a fork in it Miss Universe — y’all ain’t got nothin’ on Miss Crustacean.

File this under “Crazazy but True”: The ever-classy people of Ocean City, New Jersey hold a yearly beauty pageant for hermit crabs! According to the Cape May County Herald, the grand prize is $35 — or $35,000 in sand dollars.

We had our money on Hannah Crabtana (seen above) but she was disqualified after some shell-less pictures surfaced online.